Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

Over the years I've gained a reputation for dating around. I've been called a "player," "heartbreaker," even "Barney" from How I Met Your Mother. I know it may seem like I don't take anything seriously, but that's not entirely true. Mostly I think that I just haven't found what it is that I'm really looking for and I realized this the first time I was introduced to Phillip Phillips. Obviously I fell in love with his song "Home," but it was more than that. After watching some interviews with him I realized that this is exactly the kind of guy that would be perfect for me! So needless to say I fell in love. On a more serious note though, despite the fact that he's not a member of the church and  can't marry me in the temple he pretty much is everything that I want and one day I will convert him and we will get married and live happily ever after. Seriously though, that's the kind of guy I want. I just haven't found him yet.

Leap of Faith

It seems to be a pattern for me to update this blog every 2-3 months haha but I promise that is NOT intentional. Anyway these past couple have been pretty hectic while I've been getting my career situation figured out. Currently I am working for the internet company Digis in the call center and I absolutely hate it. I'll be honest I hate the concept of a "job." Really I just want to be running my own business and be able to control my own income. I've always felt that people are so limited by jobs. Maybe that's just because I have a very entrepreneurial mindset. I'm not sure. In either case I've never wanted to have a "job." Yes I graduated college with a BA in Communication and a minor in Marriage and Family Studies, but I went to school for the sole purpose to learn, not to be able to have my life and income controlled by some superiority. I had a moment of clarity the other day during a training session with Primerica. It's a financial planning firm for those of you who aren't familiar with it. Anyway I really like the idea of working for myself and being able to build a business. Ultimately I want to run my event planning business, but lately I have had no time to focus on it with the current job that I have and no time to put forth toward building clientele with Primerica. I realized that the only way I'm going to get to where I want to be is to quit the job I have now and focus on what I actually want to do. I'm actually completely freaked out right since I have no idea what's going to happen but I also know that noone ever got anywhere by not taking a risk. I also know that the only way I'm ever going to be successful is if I am able to work on what I want to do. I know it's a risk but it's not as if I haven't given any thought to this and it's definitely not as if I don't have a plan. I do. It's the not knowing how everything is going to work out or if it is going to work out that scares the hell out of me. However, I also know that if I stay at this job I'm never going to get anywhere and I'm slowing going insane. I realized that I never have time to do anything. Literally ANYTHING. My intent is not to complain. In fact  my biggest pet peeve is when people wine and complain and don't do anything to change their current state. All I am saying is right now I am miserable because I feel like I am being held back and that's why I've decided that something needs to change and I need to quit the job that I'm at if I'm ever going to be able to put time and effort toward a business and finally have control over my income. It's a giant leap of faith that I know I need to take.

Sit Back and Enjoy the Ride

Life is hard. I know that I'm stating the obvious here but I promise there is a point. These past few months have been challenging to say the least. Actually I would say that it's been the whole past year. I won't go into great detail about my problems because we all have them and I'm sure that everyone can agree that sometimes life just sucks. Anyway, just the other day I was listening to So Small by Carry Underwood and this song just spoke to me and I realized how pointless it is to become so disheartened worrying about things that are completely out of your control.

It's so easy to get lost inside
A problem that seems so big at the time
It's like a river that's so wide
It swallows you whole

While you're sitting around thinking 'bout what you can't change
And worrying about all the wrong things
Time's flying by, moving so fast
You better make it count 'cause you can't get it back

Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
And what you've been out there searching for forever
Is in your hands


After listening to this song I just felt so much more at ease about everything and realized that I should be focusing on the good things are happening to me right now. I know sometimes that it's hard to recognize all of the good and happy things when so much has gone wrong or is going wrong and you feel like you can't catch a break. I can say from my own personal experience that being sad and stressed out about what you have no control over is a waste of time and emotional energy. So don't do it. Focus on the things and people in your life that make you happy and I guarantee that whatever you are struggling with will become more clear to you and probably even seem like less of a trial. Sit back and enjoy life's ride. It's full of surprises.

Heartless Bird Killer Vs. Expensive Ticket

I was about 5 minutes from work this morning and these 2 birds were just chilling in the road right in front of the green traffic light, which I was not about to miss. So I tried to slow down as much as I could without missing that green light and backing up traffic behind me. I gave the birds plenty of time to move out of the way and one of them did, but the other one refused to move and I refused to slow down anymore that I already had. So inevitably I killed a bird. I felt the thud on my front bumper when I hit it. I immediately thought "Oh no! I'm a bird killer!" As soon as I got to work I texted my younger sister and informed her of what I had just done. She was very amused by this and ceased the opportunity to make me feel guilty by telling me about an episode of New Girl where Jess stops for some birds. After rubbing it in my face that Jess would stop for birds, she also added that she received an $800 ticket for not running over a few birds. Maybe I'm just a heartless bird killer, but an $800 ticket just doesn't seem worth it to me to save a bird, especially when I gave it plenty of time to fly out of my way! Needless to say I am very relieved that I dodged an $800 ticket, even if I did kill a bird in the process.

Communication is of the essence

Just last weekend I experienced how hard and stressful it can be to communicate openly when a situation is uncomfortable. I had a conflict with a close friend of mine, where I felt like I wasn't being treated the way that I should. I'm pretty easy going and I'm not quick to anger, but I also don't like feeling like I don't matter. Not that anyone does, but I had gotten to a point that I felt like I was pretending everything was ok when it wasn't. I finally made it known that I wasn't ok. I neglected to make the clear point that I had intended to make because I was anxious to leave after I had said all I had to say. The situation made me uncomfortable and I was afraid it could potentially turn into a fight.  I was tempted to just avoid communicating all together because the situation became increasingly uncomfortable and the communication barriers became even stronger, but something told me that I needed to actually talk to this friend to clear things up. I grudgingly followed the prompting that I had and called them to arrange a time for us to chat. Even after I made this phone call I was still tempted to just drop it and move on. In fact I almost  did. Even when this person texted me a couple days later to get together and talk I almost felt relieved that I wasn't able to on that day. I did eventually end up talking to my friend and straightening things out, but I was very tempted to blow it off because it seemed uncomfortable. I'm really glad that I didn't succumb to that temptation because I realized that when it is most difficult, that is when it is most important.

Comfort Zone

Just the other day my business mentor was mentoring me on building my business. One thing that he really stressed in our meeting was to never allow yourself to be too comfortable talking to people. At first this didn't make any sense to me, but then he explained it. The most important thing is to be always pushing your comfort zone. He told me that the second the I felt really comfortable talking to people and getting contacts for my business that I should be worried. The reason being that when you are comfortable you aren't growing. This made perfect sense to me. In the LDS Church, we've always been taught to step out of our comfort zone and to be constantly learning and growing. I began to ponder more about this concept. It's like in anything that we do, if we aspire to be better then we need to always be pushing ourselves a little bit harder in what we want to achieve. It is also a matter of pride. We can never become to great and there is always room for improvement in anything that we do, even if it is something that we have come to succeed in. There is always room for improvement especially since we are human beings and no human being is perfect. I've come to realize that if I want to expand my network that I should never allow myself to be too comfortable interacting with people. I would encourage everyone to never get too comfortable with who they are and where they are in life. There is always room for improvement if you want true success in life.

Building a Business

I've always had an entrepreneurial mindset and given the state of our economy and the lack of job opportunities it seems like the best route for anyone to take. I have a love and passion for planning social events.  My plan is to run my own successful business so that I can work my own schedule and be home with my family, however I also enjoy writing and would love to work for a magazine while trying to build my business. The thing that I love the most, which both of these dreams entail, is working with people. I love to help and learn about different people in any way that I can. When I came home for the 7 week break from BYU-Idaho, my 21 year old brother told me about a business that he was trying to build and he even had a mentor. He invited me to a meeting in order to give me an opportunity to learn more about it. When he first told me about it I thought that it sounded ridiculous. I thought maybe he had been sucked into a scam, but the more I listened and the more research I began to do about World Wide Dream Builders (WWDB) the more I realized that this business is really about building your own business and helping other people to build theirs. What really inspired me to want to build my own business was a book titled Rich Dad Poor Dad: The Business of the 21st Century. It is written by Robert T. Kiyosaki, a multimillionaire investor, business owner, educator, and speaker. In this book he talks about how given this economic time it is the best time to build your own business, but that it takes a lot of time and effort. Building a business happens over a period of time and takes a lot of persistence and self motivation. A couple things that Kiyosaki and WWDB both teach is that building a business is about reaching out to other people and helping them to build their own business, which in turn helps you to build yours. My plan is to start building a business with WWDB and working with the different companies that they associate with, such as Amway, Best Buy, Barnes and Noble etc. before I graduate this next semester. I know that this will take some time and I plan to work in journalism until this business and my event planning business can take off. I am really excited about this and I'm going to try this plan out for the next five years to see what will happen with it.