A little over a year ago I was faced with the biggest challenge of my life. I had just lost my dad and the grieving process was pretty fresh. I worked really hard to keep myself composed on a daily basis and one of the hardest things that I had to do was set up a bank account for the money Dad had left behind for us. Mom pretty much reminded me about it every time I talked to her. I had been putting it off. I'm not sure why but I really struggled to bring myself to do this. Since Mom had been so insistent and emphasized it's importance, I finally pushed myself to set up that account.
I remember it had been pouring rain that day and I had also been really emotional. I cried the whole way to the bank. I managed to compose myself before I walked into Chase. I somehow kept it together through the process of setting up my account, but it was a struggle. I remember music playing in the background but I didn't really hear it until "Ooh Child" by The Five Stairsteps came on and I literally heard EVERY word of the song. Especially the part that says "Ooh child things are gonna get easier, ooh child things'll get brighter." I felt really tuned into this song and tears just started streaming down my face. I got out as soon as I could. I felt like Dad was trying to comfort me with this song but at the time I remember thinking How could things possibly get easier? How far down the road would this be? I couldn't fathom how that would be possible for things to get easier.
Well the same song came on yesterday when I was helping my aunt with a house that she is staging and it had a whole new meaning to me. A lot of time has passed and everyday has brought new blessings. I was finally able to see how much easier things had gotten. That's not to say that I don't still miss him everyday and that I don't still have my moments. The grieving process is never really over but it does get easier as you become stronger. While listening to this song again I recognized how much stronger I had gotten throughout the process.
Not only have I gotten stronger but a lot of amazing things have happened since then. Through a lot of prayer and tears and comfort of friends and family I managed to get to where I am now. I'm optimistic and ready to take on the world. I finally understand what Dad was trying to tell me through this song. Things HAVE gotten easier and they HAVE gotten brighter. I have never felt closer to my family. Both of my younger siblings are back from their missions and so much is happening in my life right now. I can feel Dad's spirit with me with every challenge and adventure that I am faced with.
I just want to end with this thought; when you are faced with what seems like the biggest challenge in the world, when everything seems dark, when even attempting to smile feels impossible, and when you feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, just trust me when I say that "things are gonna get easier."
Thursday, June 23, 2016
Sunday, May 15, 2016
Dad's Words
Growing up, Dad wasn't always the easiest person to deal with. This made it hard for me to follow whatever orders he was giving. Looking back now, I realize that even if his deliverance was a little overbearing, he had only the best intentions. About a month before he passed away he told me not to take so long to make a decision. At the time I didn't understand what he was talking about, but over time it has become more clear.
Recently my life has been pushed in a new direction. Right before the marketing company I had been working for was shut down, my aunt Irene called me with an opportunity to attend a business seminar with her in California. I didn't jump on board right away, but throughout our conversation I began to lean toward it. Without knowing, she had addressed thoughts and feelings that I'd been having about where I was currently both in life and my career. She wanted me to think more about starting up an inbox magazine with her. In order to attend the business seminar with her I would need to ask for time off on short notice, which I was hesitant to do. However, the words "Lizzie, just don't take so long to make a decision" rang in my ear. It was then I decided that I needed to move in a new direction.
About two days later my aunt called me letting me know about a flight that she had found and was willing to book it for me. I almost hesitated but remembered Dad's words and accepted the offer. I knew that I was being guided in the right direction because the very next day I found out that company would be shutting down within the next week. I no longer needed to ask for any time off.
Right before meeting up with my aunt in California, I began to take the steps necessary in starting up an inbox magazine with her. During our time in San Jose, we conjured up a business plan to get things going. My aunt suggested the idea of me coming to stay in Texas in order to give it my full focus to ensure it's success.
When I flew back home to Oregon, I continued to mull over the idea and all of the pros and cons. For starters I've always felt like my place was here in Oregon and that hasn't changed. However I realized that even though my ultimate place is in Oregon, I knew that time with my aunt would be the best thing for me financially at this point in time. Again I heard Dad's words in my head and felt pushed forward.
Changes have taken place so fast and I know that Dad is guiding me. His intense and at times forceful nature have carried over even in the after life. I was listening to Growing Up by Macklemore the other day and could hear Dad's voice speaking the same words that Macklemore says in this song for his daughter. "Don't try to change the world, find something that you love and do it every day, do that for the rest of your life and eventually, the world will change." I could also hear him saying "Take risks, cause life moves so fast you're only young once, my love, one, this is your chance."
Dad was speaking to me through Macklemore and I knew that he was trying to get me to focus on things that I loved such as writing and friends and family and to not be afraid to take a risk. My whole life he was always trying to push me to be strong and independent and not to be afraid. Even though he's passed on, I can see that nothing has changed.
Recently my life has been pushed in a new direction. Right before the marketing company I had been working for was shut down, my aunt Irene called me with an opportunity to attend a business seminar with her in California. I didn't jump on board right away, but throughout our conversation I began to lean toward it. Without knowing, she had addressed thoughts and feelings that I'd been having about where I was currently both in life and my career. She wanted me to think more about starting up an inbox magazine with her. In order to attend the business seminar with her I would need to ask for time off on short notice, which I was hesitant to do. However, the words "Lizzie, just don't take so long to make a decision" rang in my ear. It was then I decided that I needed to move in a new direction.
About two days later my aunt called me letting me know about a flight that she had found and was willing to book it for me. I almost hesitated but remembered Dad's words and accepted the offer. I knew that I was being guided in the right direction because the very next day I found out that company would be shutting down within the next week. I no longer needed to ask for any time off.
Right before meeting up with my aunt in California, I began to take the steps necessary in starting up an inbox magazine with her. During our time in San Jose, we conjured up a business plan to get things going. My aunt suggested the idea of me coming to stay in Texas in order to give it my full focus to ensure it's success.
When I flew back home to Oregon, I continued to mull over the idea and all of the pros and cons. For starters I've always felt like my place was here in Oregon and that hasn't changed. However I realized that even though my ultimate place is in Oregon, I knew that time with my aunt would be the best thing for me financially at this point in time. Again I heard Dad's words in my head and felt pushed forward.
Changes have taken place so fast and I know that Dad is guiding me. His intense and at times forceful nature have carried over even in the after life. I was listening to Growing Up by Macklemore the other day and could hear Dad's voice speaking the same words that Macklemore says in this song for his daughter. "Don't try to change the world, find something that you love and do it every day, do that for the rest of your life and eventually, the world will change." I could also hear him saying "Take risks, cause life moves so fast you're only young once, my love, one, this is your chance."
Dad was speaking to me through Macklemore and I knew that he was trying to get me to focus on things that I loved such as writing and friends and family and to not be afraid to take a risk. My whole life he was always trying to push me to be strong and independent and not to be afraid. Even though he's passed on, I can see that nothing has changed.
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