Love's Divine

This is probably the most personal post I've ever made, but I felt the need to express how I feel about the Lord's unconditional love for us. I was listening to "Love's Divine" by Seal while I was getting ready for work and it really touched me. It really hit home for me with everything that has been going on in my life the last couple of months and this month especially. I realized how blessed I have been even through the toughest of times. Work has been really tough and I haven't really had much of a personal life, but just when I think I just can't take anymore somehow everything always works out and I manage to overcome all of the obstacles. In a way I am grateful for everything that I've been going through because as faithful as I am I've done more praying and relying on the Lord than I normally do. The Lord allows us to go through certain trials in order for us to come closer to him, whether those trials are brought upon by our own stupid mistakes or just because life happens.  I know that there is no way that I would be able to accomplish anything that I've accomplished without the help of the Lord. I also feel so undeserving of the blessings that I've been given and the help that I have received. In the song he talks about losing your belief in the midst of trial but being comforted and saved by "Loves's Divine." This just got me thinking about the Lord's divine and unconditional love for us and how no matter what, he will be there to help and comfort us in our time of need. I was just so overcome with emotion listening to this especially the part where he says:

I need love, love's divine
Please forgive me now I see that I've been blind
Give me love, love is what I need to help me know my name

I realized how blessed I have been and in that moment I could feel his love for me so strongly and I just knew that everything was going to be okay, even though I felt like I had been doing everything wrong. The Lord knows us each individually, he knows the intent of our hearts, and he will never leave us alone. He loves us unconditionally.

Say What You Wanna Say

These past couple of weeks have really gotten me thinking about how we communicate in all of our relationships. Whether romantic, family, friendships, or professional. Just relationships in general. Sara Bareilles' song Brave has been on several times within this same time frame and I don't think it's a coincidence. Anyway I can't help but wonder why so often we don't just say what we want to say. I'm someone who tends to think out loud so it boggles my mind why people so often beat around the bush or hold back what they want to say and expect that some miracle will happen or that someone will just miraculously be able to know what's on their mind.

I completely agree with Sara when she says "say what you wanna say and let the words fall out." I wanna see you be brave people!

If you have something to say then just say it. If you want something to happen say it. If you aren't happy with something speak up. I know that this is typically a problem for girls, but guys are just as guilty. Why do we make communication so complicated. It should be simple, but because so often we over-think and over-complicate it's become a serious issue. Let's just go back to basics. How much easier would life be if we could all just open our mouths and say what we want to say.

It's like wanting to be more in shape but you never take action to go to the gym or go on a run. It's simple get up and go to the gym or go on that run. It's the same thing. take action. Use your words!

Affirmation

I've been thinking and reflecting on life a lot lately. As I was getting ready this morning the song Affirmation by Savage Garden came on and it really hit home for me. I guess it just got me thinking about everything that is important to me and what I want out of life.


Here's just a few of the lines that really stood out to me:

I believe that trust is more important than monogamy

I believe your most attractive features are your heart and soul

I believe that family is worth more than money or gold

I believe the struggle for financial freedom is unfair

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned

I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned

I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side

I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

I believe forgiveness is the key to your unhappiness

We NEED an Intervention

Now I'm not hating on Provo or anything, but I was just here this last weekend and I could not help but notice that EVERYONE looks the same. Literally, EVERYONE looks the same. Not "figuratively" and no exaggeration lol.

 The girls all dress alike and do their hair the same. The guys all dress alike and do their hair the same. I used to live here so it's not like this is news to me, but I've never been able to figure out why. I mean is it  a coincidence that everyone happens to look the same or does everyone get together once a week to plan out their wardrobe?

This must be the case. Or maybe there was a memo that I never heard about with the dress requirements for Provo. I honestly would like to know what the deal is. Does no one have a mind of their own? I mean is it really necessary for everyone to do the same thing? Maybe I'm not being fair though. Maybe people are unaware that there is more than one place to shop.

Whatever the case, there needs to be an intervention. It has become a serious problem and we need to get to the root of this problem and fix it. I'm here to say that it is no longer acceptable and I would really appreciate it if everyone could just have a mind of their own. I can only handle seeing so much of the same outfit and hairstyle. It needs to stop. If you have any suggestions for fixing this problem please let me know. The future of Provo depends on it.

Brains? What Tem Tose Tings?

This week has been pretty hectic but somewhere along the way I think I lost my brain haha and I wanted to dedicate this post to my good friends Corey Lowe, Spencer Owens, Nathan Fife, and Thomas Mortensen. This will be the ONLY time that I will EVER condone this joke but I will admit that it is funny. Anyway is it possible to have sympathy pregnancy brain? My cousin's wife is pregnant and I'm living with them so I'm just going to blame it on that. It may also be lack of sleep or the combination of the two haha who knows? Anyway I seriously want to know where my brain has gone. Everyday this week I've gotten the days confused, I forgot how to count when doing inventory at work, and I today I forgot how to use my words when talking to customers. I'm not sure what happened but I opened my mouth to speak and all that came out was jibberish. Needless to say I've caused a lot of confusion for everyone else, especially at work with my lack of brain this week lol but the only thing I could think of all day today was "brains? what tem tose tings?" So a special thanks to Corey for starting that joke. Good night world.

Excuses, excuses, excuses

I'll be the first to admit that I've used excuses before but at this point in my life they have become absolutely useless to me and I've realized that they haven't gotten me anywhere. I've actually become genuinely irritated when I hear other people use them. I'm sorry if this makes me a brat, I really am, but my time is very precious to me and I don't have the time or the patience to just sit around and listen to them. When I hear excuses, no matter how legit you may think they are, I literally hear "blah blah blah." I'm very understanding and I understand when things are hard and that noone is perfect but when all I hear are excuses and see no action it's literally exhausting. I've never been the type to sit around and wait and I never will be. I have a life and I'm sorry if I come across as an impatient brat but I firmly believe that if you want something enough you can make it happen. I was and never will be a girl that sits around and waits for anything. In dating, in school, in work, and life in general. I'm not heartless and I do care but I've never been someone to sit around and mope if something didn't workout. I'm sorry but I'm better than that. If that makes me seem cocky, I'm sorry, but I have this thing called self respect. This is not meant to be an angry post. I just felt the need to express my opinion and what better place then my blog haha

The Power of a Blessing

I know this might seem completely cliche but I just felt really impressed to share my thoughts and testimony of the power of a priesthood blessing. It never ceases to amaze me how powerful a simple blessing can be. I've been really good with staying positive and just enjoying life but these past couple have months it's definitely been a struggle. I really love my job and the career opportunity that I have with it, but it's also been extremely challenging. Lately I've just felt like I don't have much of a personal life or time for the people and things that really matter to me. And I've just felt like I've been in way over my head and failing in everything that I feel like I'm working hard toward. I've even questioned if this is where I should be and what I should be doing right now. Even though I've been pretty good about being happy no matter what I've still felt really lonely. I haven't expressed any of this to anyone with the exception of my little sister last night when my racing thoughts were keeping me awake. Anyway my intention is not to whine or complain about anything but only to emphasize how strongly I feel about the Gospel and the power of Priesthood blessings.

I should also mention that I've been sick with a common cold that doesn't seem to want to go away for good. This morning I asked my cousin for a blessing and he had no idea about any of the other struggles that had been on my mind. At least I had not expressed any worries or concerns that I had besides being sick, which was more than obvious. My point is that in the blessing I heard exactly what I needed to hear and felt like everything that I was up all night praying about had been answered in that one blessing. I just felt so comforted and at peace and even more so after he gave me a big hug that was much needed. I had this feeling of assurance that not only was I going to physically feel better but that I would feel the love and support of the Lord as well as my family and that everything was going to be ok. It was just so amazing to me to feel the spirit so strongly and to hear exactly what the Lord wanted me to hear through my cousin. After receiving this blessing I also remembered something that Elder Holland had said in his talk The Laborers in the Vinyard  "...however late you think you are, however many chances you think you have missed, however many mistakes you feel you have made or talents you think you don’t have, or however far from home and family and God you feel you have traveled, I testify that you have not traveled beyond the reach of divine love. It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite light of Christ’s Atonement shines." This quote had infinitely more meaning to me and I realized that I had absolutely no reason to feel as lonely or discouraged as I had felt.