Follow Your Intuition

The greatest thing that I have learned through this mighty roller coaster of a year is trusting my intuition and following it. I'm naturally very sensitive and intuitive, but it wasn't until this past year  that I really learned to recognize it as an amazing gift. I believe that everyone is intuitive to a degree. Some of us might be more sensitive to it than others, but the bottom line is that we all have an intuition and we should all follow it.

Jewel even wrote a song about this. I believe it goes something like this "Follow your heart, your intuition, it will lead you in the right direction." If Jewel says it's important then that should be solid proof haha but seriously though. she was inspired.

Every time that I've try to go against my intuition, or ignore it,  or second guess it, I've just brought on more problems for myself. I'd be lying if I said that I don't still struggle with it because I do. My natural tendency is to second guess what I feel in my in my heart of hearts is true.

Just the other day I was talking to my mom about thoughts and feelings that I'd been getting about the  direction of my life and even dreams that I had. I knew that I was being lead in a direction, but still I was questioning it. Mom gave me the most sound advice that I knew I couldn't ignore. She said "trust your feelings."

Sometimes in the moment what our intuition might be telling us might not make a lot of sense. However, if you feel like you are being pushed or pulled in a certain direction DON'T fight it. I guarantee that it will make sense if you are brave enough and wise enough to just let it guide you.

I don't believe in coincidences. I strongly believe that EVERYTHING happens for a reason. We are lead to certain people for a reason. We are put in certain situations for a reason. Things happen for a reason and signs are a real thing whether or not you choose to believe it. Maybe you are too proud or too scared to recognize signs in your own life, or maybe you have recognized them and are like me and second guess it.

No matter the case, actually acting on your intuition is terrifying and a lot of times inconvenient. TRUST ME I know. Don't let that hold you back. Trust the signs that are placed in front of you, follow them, and let your intuition guide you. In the inspiring words of Jewel, "it will lead you in the right direction."

Choose To Be Strong

A lot has happened in my life in the last few months and today I feel inspired to share my thoughts and feelings about life.

Just this last March we lost my dad to Pancreatic Cancer. He was diagnosed in February and the doctors told us that he had 6 months to live, but he only lasted a little over a month before it took his life.

Just the other night the subject came up when I was talking with a friend. She seemed surprised at how well I seemed to be handling everything. It got me thinking about how we can choose to be strong when things are hard. I'm lucky enough to have amazing role models for this. My Aunt Irene and the whole Titera family have been such amazing examples to me. They've lost 2 sons and brothers and managed to be strong through it all. They never gave up hope or quit looking forward to the future. It was amazing to see how they handled everything and I learned so much from watching them. I know these experiences were really hard on their family, but I've always admired they're perseverance and incredible strength. I strive everyday to be as admirable as their family and I hope that one day I can come close.

I'm not going to pretend that things haven't been hard or even pretend that I'm not still struggling but as a whole I am pretty good. I've experienced some pretty miraculous things that have helped me to gain a clearer perspective on things. I won't go into great detail about anything because they are pretty personal experiences, but I don't fear the future and I take comfort in knowing that Dad is still looking out for me and the rest of our family. I know without a doubt that everything will be okay. I also know that "faking it until you make it" is a real thing and that it works.

So if there is any struggle that you are faced with in your life, tell yourself that everything is okay until it becomes the truth. The mind is a powerful thing. Dad always told us that "failure is not an option." I thought it was pretty sound advice and it's helped to be strong, especially through these past few months. Life can be tough but we can choose to be strong.

Rocks For Brains

Before I get started on this post I just need to clarify that I LOVE Portland! I really do. I love everything about it, but I have noticed that people are almost too casual when it comes to job interviews. Which is why I make it perfectly clear before someone comes in for an interview that it is business professional.

Anyway so this for the most part has not been a problem, until we had the luxury of interviewing this girl with half a brain today. Let me tell you a joy she was. If it wasn't enough that she didn't comprehend what business professional was, this girl walked in with an attitude. Apparently having a college education entitles you to something. Who needs common courtesy or common sense  when you have a Bachelor's degree and an 8 page resume haha. While she was waiting to be interviewed, she proceeds to ask me about the position that she applied for. Even though I had explained this to her before she came in, as well as asking her to be professionally dressed, being the professional that I am, I proceed to explain it to her 3 more times! Nothing was sinking in and her stupidity was making me angry so I just told her that Rachel (the hiring manager) would cover everything in the interview.

The girl couldn't even remember what job posting she had responded to! Strike 3!

Well if all that wasn't enough to turn her away, right before she walks out the door she says to me in the snottiest, half a brain voice you could imagine, "Just a word to the wise blah blah blah," I can't actually remember the rest haha but something about how I wasn't clear about the position and how she is something important. I didn't really care and I actually found it pretty amusing. Her dumb girl voice is what I found the most entertaining.

So if I didn't HAVE to be professional, this is what my response would have been: "I'm sorry that you are so easily confused. Maybe you should go to Oz and trade those rocks for a real brain, cut your resume down to 1 page, not 8, learn how to dress for a job interview, oh yeah and talk like a normal person you idiot!"

But alas I resolve to be professional and this is what I actually say in the nicest voice that I can bring myself to portray, "I'm very sorry for the misunderstanding. Have a great day."

Anywho I hope that girl gets far in life.

I Wanna Be A Toys R Us Kid

Remember in 13 Going On 30 when she wishes to be "30 flirty and thriving?" Yeah that girl was dumb. I guess part of being 13 is the naivety to think that being a grownup is going to be better. The part that really gets me though is after experiencing being a  30 old adult, she goes back to 13 and then chooses to go back to 30!

I couldn't help but think that this girl is D-U-M-B DUMB! Who in their right mind would want to be an adult if they could go back to being a kid???? I personally would rather be a kid and here's why:

1.  No responsibility. Do kids have to worry about work, or bills, or being successful in general? Nope. You have to worry about playing with your friends and coming in for dinner when mom or dad call. And watching cartoons on Nickelodeon. That's right you didn't have to be self reliant. That was the life.

2. No relationship drama. You aren't bothered by all the complications of an dating or marriage because you don't even like the opposite sex.

3. Making mistakes is acceptable. Your expected to make stupid mistakes as a kid because you don't "know better," but you can't pull that card as an adult. If you do then you are a menace to society. 
4. Having a vivid imagination is acceptable. When you're a kid you're weird if you don't have crazy ideas and let your imagination run wild. As an adult though, people just see you a bit kookoo.
5. No pressure to conform. Lets face it, kids don't worry about what impression their giving off. They just do and say what they want and noone questions it because it's cute and funny. As an adult you pose a threat to society.
and last but not least...

6. Naptime! I'm pretty sure we all took nap time for granted. I know I did. When you were a kid it sounded treacherous but little did you know that it would soon be taken away from you. Why didn't we just love naps when we had the chance?


Well I think about how awesome I would have it if I could just be a kid forever but then I remember that the whole purpose of life is to learn and progress, or some mumbo jumbo like that. So I guess all things considered being an adult isn't so bad.

Reality Check

Before I get started I want to make it clear that I am in no way trying to bash on anybody but only to express my opinion of the importance of humility. I've noticed a pattern of members of the church that are born and raised in Utah (the men in particular). This is not to say that everyone that's LDS and born in raised in Utah needs a reality check but a majority of you do. I'm sure that there those that are an exception and are normal and realize that they are not above anything or anyone else, in which case this is not directed toward you.

I've dated enough of these guys and had enough of them come into to my office for an interview that I feel like I need to make it known  that serving a mission and paying your tithing entitles you to ABSOLUTLEY NOTHING. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh but it doesn't. It doesn't put you above anyone else. I hope this doesn't come across as me making a mission out to be like it's not important because that is the opposite of what I am saying. I believe that everyone should serve one. My problem is people that seem to believe that because they serve a mission and pay their tithing, they are somehow more righteous than anyone else. I'm here to tell you that you aren't. Maybe you haven't made the same mistakes as someone else and you have lived your life differently. That's fine, but don't talk down to me or walk piously as if God somehow loves you more than the rest of the world. In reality God is probably laughing at you. I'm sorry if that is sac-religious, but I have a hard time believing that God doesn't have a sense of humor.

All I am saying is open your mind up and learn to understand how the world actually works outside of your precious bubble. I don't care if you've served a mission. That's awesome if you have! Seriously. And I don't care if you pay your tithing. Great. I do too. I don't care that you go to church every Sunday and don't work on Sundays. That's great! I do the same thing! Am I perfect? Absolutely not! So I'm confused why some of you think that you are. I've made plenty of mistakes in my lifetime but there is this great thing called the Atonement! And because of that I know for a fact that you are not above anyone. More closed minded maybe, but definitely not anymore special in the eyes of God.

Crash and Burn: Savage Garden to the Rescue

First things first, I don't like talking about feelings. It's not my idea of fun and it's rather uncomfortable for me to talk about deep emotional issues, but I am human and I do have them. That being said this blog is my sanctuary for getting things out haha anyway this month has been pretty rocky. I'm not complaining and I won't go into great detail but lately I've just felt trapped and discouraged and just wanted someone to hug me and tell me that everything will be ok. Well  noone's been around to give me a hug or tell me that everything will be ok, but Savage Garden made me feel a little better. I was listening to my Itunes just feeling frustrated with myself when Savage Garden's Crash and Burn came on. And even though it wasn't the hug and reassurance that I wanted it was exactly what I needed to hear. I just pretended that it was written for me and that Savage Garden was serenading me with these words:

When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel like you can't face the day

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

Savage Garden was there in my time of need. I now feel like we are best friends and I know if I jump that they will break my fall and lift me up and fly away with me into the night. And if I need to crash, then I can crash and burn. I'm not alone. Thank you Savage Garden. :)

Personality Profile

For those who know me, you that I am really into personality profiles and just learning about people in general. I am naturally a people person and I'm pretty good at picking up on things people do and being able to tell what they are doing and why. I'm not saying I've never been wrong about someone before, but 99.9% of the time I'm right on the dot. Anyway I've studied personality tests such as the Color Code and the Meyers Briggs. I've just always been fascinated by things like these, but I do have to say that as insightful as the Color Code is, I really enjoyed how psychologically in depth and informative the Myers Briggs test is. My profile was fairly accurate. Here it is.

Portrait of an ESFP - Extraverted Sensing Feeling Perceiving
(Extraverted Sensing with Introverted Feeling)

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The Performer

As an ESFP, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you take things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion. Your secondary mode is internal, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit with your personal value system.
ESFPs live in the world of people possibilties. They love people and new experiences. They are lively and fun, and enjoy being the center of attention. They live in the here-and-now, and relish excitement and drama in their lives.
ESFPs have very strong inter-personal skills, and may find themselves in the role of the peacemaker frequently. Since they make decisions by using their personal values, they are usually very sympathetic and concerned for other people's well-being. They're usually quite generous and warm. They are very observant about other people, and seem to sense what is wrong with someone before others might, responding warmly with a solution to a practical need. They might not be the best advice-givers in the world, because they dislike theory and future-planning, but they are great for giving practical care.
ESFP is definitely a spontaneous, optimistic individual. They love to have fun. If the ESFP has not developed their Thinking side by giving consideration to rational thought processing, they tend to become over-indulgent, and place more importance on immediate sensation and gratification than on their duties and obligations. They may also avoid looking at long-term consequences of their actions.
For the ESFP, the entire world is a stage. They love to be the center of attention and perform for people. They're constantly putting on a show for others to entertain them and make them happy. They enjoy stimulating other people's senses, and are extremely good at it. They would love nothing more than for life to be a continual party, in which they play the role of the fun-loving host.
ESFPs love people, and everybody loves an ESFP. One of their greatest gifts is their general acceptance of everyone. They are upbeat and enthusiastic, and genuinely like almost everybody. An ESFP is unfailingly warm and generous with their friends, and they generally treat everyone as a friend. However, once crosesed, an ESFP is likely to make a very strong and stubborn judgment against the person who crossed them. They are capable of deep dislike in such a situation.
The ESFP under a great deal of stress gets overwhelmed with negatives thoughts and possibilities. As an optimistic individual who lives in the world of possibilities, negative possibilities do not sit well with them. In an effort to combat these thoughts, they're likely to come up with simple, global statements to explain away the problem. These simplistic explanations may or may not truly get to the nature of the issue, but they serve the ESFP well by allowing them to get over it.
ESFPs are likely to be very practical, although they hate structure and routine. They like to "go with the flow", trusting in their ability to improvise in any situation presented to them. They learn best with "hands-on" experience, rather than by studying a book. They're uncomfortable with theory. If an ESFP hasn't developed their intuitive side, they may tend to avoid situations which involve a lot of theoretical thinking, or which are complex and ambiguous. For this reason, an ESFP may have difficulty in school. On the other hand, the ESFP does extremely well in situations where they're allowed to learn by interacting with others, or in which they "learn by doing".
ESFPs have a very well-developed appreciation for aesthetic beauty, and an excellent sense of space and function. If they have the means, they're likely to have to have many beautiful possessions, and an artfully furnished home. In general, they take great pleasure in objects of aesthetic beauty. They're likely to have a strong appreciation for the finer things in life, such as good food and good wine.
The ESFP is a great team player. He or she is not likely to create any problems or fuss, and is likely to create the most fun environment possible for getting the task done. ESFPs will do best in careers in which they are able to use their excellent people skills, along with their abilities to meld ideas into structured formats. Since they are fast-paced individuals who like new experiences, they should choose careers which offer or require a lot of diversity, as well as people skills.
ESFPs usually like to feel strongly bonded with other people, and have a connection with animals and small children that is not found in most other types. They're likely to have a strong appreciation for the beauties of nature as well.
The ESFP has a tremendous love for life, and knows how to have fun. They like to bring others along on their fun-rides, and are typically a lot of fun to be with. They're flexible, adaptable, genuinely interested in people, and usually kind-hearted. They have a special ability to get a lot of fun out of life, but they need to watch out for the pitfalls associated with living entirely in the moment.

Jungian functional preference ordering:

Dominant: Extraverted Sensing

Auxiliary: Introverted Feeling

Tertiary: Extraverted Thinking

Inferior: Introverted Intuition